Hearing Rick Santorum

On Wednesday, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum was in Nashville speaking at Belmont University.  Having lived most of my life in the non-battleground states of Texas and New York, most presidential candidates have not gone out of their way to get my vote.  I'm not sure if Tennessee is a battleground state in November, but it surely is in March and Santorum is apparently doing well here in Tennessee.  I'm not terribly surprised by this.  Most of the time when I hear about a candidate coming to Tennessee it's for $1000 a plate fund raisers in Franklin or something like that.  They surely don't want spares like me running around those events as I don't have $1000 to give to a presidential candidate.  But I couldn't pass up the opportunity to hear what Santorum had to say.

I couldn't leave the house until the girls were in bed and that didn't happen until right at 8 which was when he was scheduled to speak.  I almost didn't go because I thought I'd miss most of the speech, but when I got there I was relieved that it hadn't started yet because he was on the Sean Hannity show.  When he finally got up, he said that he couldn't blow off Sean Hannity and expect to be able to be on his show again.  There's something funny to say here, but I can't think of it right now.

I'm not good at guess crowd sizes.  I've seen guesses of 800 and that seems plausible.  It wasn't as large as I was expecting, but it was a good size.  Some of the students seemed less than 100% focused on the speech- getting up and leaving, looking at their phones, chatting, etc.  Most of the reports I've read about the speech focused on the reaction of the crowd- heckling, boos, etc.  Having never been to one of these before, I can't really comment on whether the reaction was normal.  There were a number of supporters of other candidates there.   The Ron Paul supports that were there were jerks.  I don't mean this as an indictment on Ron Paul, but his supporters were extremely rude and inappropriate.  Some of their comments were completely inane and didn't make sense in the context of the speech.  I don't know if I could ever vote for someone with such stupid supporters.

One of the calmer posters held up by Paul supports

There was some booing and it was hard to tell who exactly they supported, though the best guess I could make was they were Obama supporters.  One of the funniest moments was then Santorum was talking about health care and said, "That's all going to change in 2014!" and the crowd applauded (apparently excited about midterm elections that year).  Santorum clarified that by saying that's when government sponsored health care is to be implemented.  There were some Mitt Romney supporters as well, but they were more polite, therefore they were mostly ignored.  This is the obvious lesson of politics these days.  Act like a jackhole and you get attention.  Act civilly and get disregarded.  I thought Santorum handled the mixed crowd well, mixing ignoring with some answering.  For example, when part of the crowd cheered something about the health care overhaul, he answered them saying that their ancestors who came to America looking for opportunity would disagree with the government mandates. (This is a time I wish I had a notebook to write down exactly what he said because I thought it was a good comeback.)  There were many Santorum supporters as well.  One lady I noticed was really mad that people on floor (like me) weren't standing up and cheering during the red meat parts of the speech.  

 

Mostly, he avoided the social issues that he is known for.  He didn't talk about contraceptives except indirectly in the health care/ religion freedom context.  He didn't talk about abortion at all or gay marriage or any of those issues.  He stuck to talking about health care and energy and, of course, alot of the America is the greatest country in the world and stuff like that.  Standard Republican fare.  

It was a great experience.  I'm really glad I got to go.  I have some political thoughts that I will share soon.  I've recently had what amounts to a revelation about politics and I'll write those here one of these days.

Old Time Baseball

As anyone who reads this or knows me knows, I love baseball.  I love for baseball falls on the nerdy side (I know, shocking!).  One of my favorite things to do is score ball games, especially when I go to a new ballpark.  I carry at least four sharpened pencils, stick them in my ball cap, and my score book and don't get up throughout the whole game.  I've watched some crazy games and scored most of them.  It helps me remember the game and gives me something to do.  I've scored games at Ranger's Ballpark in Arlington, old Shea Stadium and old Yankee Stadium in New York, Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati, Marlin's Stadium in Miami, and Citizen's Bank Ballpark in Philadelphia as well as some minor league games and college games.

My mother in law was going though my father in law's old belongings and found something awesome.  She found a program from a 1957 game between the Boston Red Sox and the Chicago Red Sox.  He had been a summer missionary in Chicago that summer and found time to go to a game.  He also scored the game.  By research, I was able to find the game he went to.  It was July 19, 1957.  The Red Sox won 5-2.    He saw four Hall of Famers play that day- Luis Aparicio, Nellie Fox, and Larry Doby of the White Sox and Ted Williams of the Red Sox.  Ted Williams hit a home run that day.  Both teams were pretty good that year, but finished behind the Yankees for the American League Pennant.

It's really neat that he saw Ted Williams hit a home run in person.  Looking over my programs and baseball memories, I've seen a few transcendent players- Pedro Martinez, Alex Rodriguez, and Derek Jeter, among others, including David Price in college.

Baseball is awesome and spring is almost here.

Sports PTSD

My friend Dan is from Minnesota and is a big fan of the Minnesota teams, especially the Twins in baseball and the Vikings in football (He may be a huge fan of the Wild and the Bucks, but I don't know for sure). He now lives in the Dallas area so he is well versed on the local teams I root for (the Rangers, Cowboys, and Mavericks). He called me the other day to ask if I had heard about Drew Pearson going into the Cowboys Ring of Honor. He asked if Drew Pearson pushed off on Jerry Jones to be able to get into the Ring of Honor after all these years, an obvious reference to the spurious claims of Viking fans that Drew Pearson pushed off on cornerback Nate Wright, which would have been offensive pass interference, in catching the legendary Hail Mary from Roger Staubach in the 1975 NFC Divisional playoff game. What Vikings' fans don't understand is that it doesn't matter if Pearson pushed off or not because pass interference was not called therefore he didn't commit it. Wait. This post is being written to argue with Dan because he knows I'm right.

What's obvious about Dan and Vikings fan everywhere is that they suffer from Sports Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Sports PTSD. Sports PTSD is the inability to get over sports misfortune or defeat even after many years. In real life PTSD, people suffer or witness a severe traumatic event (car accident, natural disaster, abuse, etc) and suffer physiologic symptoms when triggered even if the trauma has passed and they are no longer in any true danger. It generally treated with therapy and medication to deal with some of the symptoms (such as sleep disorder).  In fact, in my work, I deal with kids who are struggling with symptoms of PTSD and use cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on the trauma and the related symptoms. (BTW, in talking about Sports PTSD, I am in no way demeaning PTSD. It is a serious psychological problem that affects many people.)

Sports PTSD occurs when events turns against your favorite team and great disappointment ensues. For true PTSD that disappointment should take place in a big game, normally a playoff game or series. The question is can Sports PTSD be treated? I believe it can.

I think everyone knows what are their own areas of Sports PTSD. For fans of Kentucky basketball, one name: Christian Laettner. For Buffalo Sabres fans, three words: in the crease. For Red Sox fans, two names: Bucky Dent and Aaron Boone. Must I go on?

For me, two of the most serious ones I've faced have been exorcized within the last year. As a Rangers fan for my whole life, I've lived with years of mediocrity or worse. Until 2010, the "glory years" were the late 90s with three division titles in four years (96, 98, and 99). However, each year they were rudely swept out of the playoff by the juggernaut Yankee teams which went on the win the World Series each of those years. After that, the Yankees were the bogyman.
I went to a game in 2000 and had seats 7 rows behind home plate. The Rangers tied the game in the bottom of the tenth of Mariano Rivera, but gave up a lead run in top of the eleventh. The bottom of that inning, the Rangers loaded the bases with no outs and the ballpark is going crazy. Luis Alicea is up and hit the ball about a foot in front of the plate and the catcher touched home plate and tagged Alicea out (he thought it was foul). The next batter (the immortal Scott Sheldon) grounded out.  Complete deflation. 
One of the greatest heroes of the 2000 season was journeyman pitcher Brian Sikorski who shut out the Yankees over 7 innings in his major league debut. He appeared in nine other games that year (starting four) and ended up with an ERA of almost six. I went to Rangers spring training the next year and everyone wanted Brian Sikorski's autograph because he had stuck it to the Yankees. Of course, beating the Yankees in ALCS in 2010 has removed most of the sting of those years.

The other major one that has been healed is the Mavericks choke against the Miami Heat in the 2006 NBA finals. This year, with no one believing in them, least of all their fans, the Mavs stuck it to the Heat. Again, demons exorcised.

Another big Sports PTSD moment for me came in a series the team I was cheering for actually won the series- the 2005 NLCS between the Astros and Cardinals. The Astros led 3-1 and were ahead 4-2 in the top of the ninth and there were two outs as Brad Lidge had struck out the first two batters. Then, a single and a walk and then Albert Pujols hit a ball the landed about three weeks later. My heart is racing just thinking about it. The Astros won that series as Roy Oswalt pitched 7 strong innings and Brad Lidge didn't pitch, but the stage was set for getting swept in the World Series in which Lidge gave up the winning runs in games 2 and 4 including a home run to Scott Podsednick, who had hit none all year. The real killer though, for me, was the Pujols home run. I was able to watch that game and I was so excited and then completely deflated. I wasn't able to watch Oswalt's masterpiece in game 6, so I missed that opportunity for healing.

Perhaps Sports PTSD can never be healed.  You'd think after last year, I'd have a little confidence in the Rangers.  But instead, when they fall behind, I often still get the depressed feeling that causes me to think they will NEVER WIN A GAME EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!  Of course being a fan of the Rangers is like have a friend or family member with Bipolar Disorder.  They go on these crazy hot streaks and destroy everyone in their path and then they look like minor league team flaying at sliders and kicking the ball all over the field. 

So what are your moments of Sports PTSD? What gets your heart racing or mind running whenever you see a replay or hear someone mention it?

Comment on my comment?

One of the blogs I read just about everyday is Jesus Creed, a blog by theology professor and author Scot McKnight. He links to interesting articles usually related to Christianity, the church, and culture. I usually read the comments, but I don't often comment myself because who really wants to read my thoughts, anyway. I don't have a tremendous amount to add anyway. Tonight was a different story. The story didn't really do much for me, the comments got me going a little bit and I tried to post an opinion and try to mix in some snark. I love some good snark. The link is about Christian music and marketing, but it goes deeper than simply "what's the deal with Christian music?" It's about marketing and authenticity. Granted, Christian music in general comes up woefully short IMHO, but again, not the real point here.

http://www.patheos.com/community/jesuscreed/2011/08/15/ccm-and-christian-marketing/

I won't repost the whole excerpt, but I will repost my comment. I'm curious to hear others thoughts. Am I missing the point?

I hate it when Scot posts something about Christian music because everyone piles on with the whole, “I hate Christian music. I want something with real spiritual depth.” It’s like a big group of hipsters who say “Meh” to everything. “Christian music sucks, except for what I listen to.”

I’m not defending Christian music here. I tend to agree with alot of what has been said. (Though if you want to catch some good Christian music, check out radarradio.net. See, I’m do it too.[sic])

But the point of this excerpt isn’t that Christian music is terrible. It’s that too often 21st century Christianity has tried so hard to be relevant that there is no difference between the church and the world. And if there’s no difference, then what’s the use? The church has bought the consumerism garbage and is paying the price (no pun intended). The slick packages and the cool presentations just make it all look fake. As we all know, the worst thing in the world is to be fake.

Comment by Russell — August 15, 2011 @ 11:42 pm

I hate Craigslist

For many years we have loved Craigslist. While living in New York we: found two of our apartments, Jeanette's job, a couch, and more. We also got rid of most of our furniture that we didn't want to keep before we moved to Tennessee. We almost bought a van to bring our stuff to Nashville (before we wised up and realized that was a stupid idea). Now in Nashville, Craigslist has had some good things. We have found great garage sales. We bought a Joovy stroller and some other small things. But my recent experience has driven me to hate Craigslist.

I recently posted an ad to sell 8 different cans of baby formula which we won't be using. There are 4 of one brand(I'll call SA) and a single can of 4 other brands. Each one would cost around $15 in a store, but I was asking for $40 for the set(for those who struggle with math that $5 a can). I also listed the size of the can and the expiration date. I thought that was pretty straight forward and easy.

The inquiries started early with a question from SS as to whether I would just sell the four SAs. I replied that I would take $20 for the four. Then RC wrote and asked the same thing. I held off replying to RC waiting to hear from SS. No response by the next day so I sent the same message to RC (4 cans for $20). No response from RC either. Four others wrote with similar questions about breaking up the set. To each one I replied that would take $5 for a single can. No responses from any. I wonder why that is. Do they have trouble with the math that $40 divided by 8 is $5? Are they surprised that I want some money for the cans and I don't want to just give them away to some idiot I have never met? Are they cruising Craigslist for just any free can of formula they can track down? Did they realize they don't really even have a baby and have no need whatsoever for formula? The world may never know.

This morning things got ridiculous with two different people asking for two different individual cans. AS e-mailed and gave a number to text with information. Here is the exact text conversation:
ME: Regarding Craigslist formula, I will take $5 for (formula). Can you come this evening? Russell
AS: How many oz? (As you will recall I posted this on the ad.)
AS: And is it sealed?
ME: It is sealed and unopened. The size of the can is on the listing and I don't have it in front of me. I know its around 12 oz. (Do you think she thought I was being sarcastic? Besides who would sell an open can of formula?)
AS: Ok um have to talk to my husband and wat time n where I will let u kno for sure asap
ME: Ok, call me if you decide you want it and I'll give you our address. (I wrote our general location.)
AS: Ok we live close thanx
time passes
AS: Ok wat time is good
ME: I'll be home around 6. My address is (I write my address). (I always use proper capitalization and punctuation when I text. At least I try to.)
ME: I'm home. Let me know if you need directions.
AS: Well I won't b comin today sorry ill let u kno if or when thanks

Needless to say, I'm not holding my breath to hear from her.

I also received an e-mail from FC about a different can. I replied that I would take $5 for it (notice a trend?). She asked if I would take $3 for it. I should have told them to jump off a cliff, but I'm ready to get rid of these cans so I said yes. Shockingly enough, FC's husband came and got the can. He paid the $3 (though I saw the inside of his wallet and he definitely could have paid $5). I honestly wasn't trying to sneak a peak at the inside of his wallet, but he just about held it open for me to see inside. It really isn't a huge deal that I only got $3. I mean its two measly dollars, but really, it's a brand new can of formula. Did they feel like they won a prize for getting it for two dollars cheaper? Is that two dollars the difference between dinner tonight and going hungry? Are they using that two dollars to start their baby's college savings account that will hopefully mature one day to pay for him to slack off and cut classes? Are they putting that two dollars into the lottery to hope to get their dream house? Again, I don't know, but don't think I could care less.

So there is my experience. Craigslist in Nashville is stupid and waste of time. But if you want 7 cans of formula for $35, let me know.

Mmmm, Yummy Crow

I guess after being nigh on suicidal after game 1 and incredulous after game 2, I should write about the Mavericks unbelievable championship. It shocked the basketball world. In fact, I think it shocked the Mavs. It seemed at the end of the game that as time was ticking down they just looked at each other as if they were saying, did that just happen? Am I dreaming? The Heat were stunned, too. After one of the Heat's final baskets, when they had to foul to try to prolong the game, they let Jason Terry dribble around like it was a shoot around. They seemed to mail the last 5 minutes of the game in, which was a common theme in the finals.

I listened to a podcast of Miami sports writer Dan Lebatard with Bill Simmons recapping the finals. I didn't count, but he probably said 10 times that the Heat were close to winning all the games and if Lebron James had played to his averages then they would have won. I obviously can't dispute any of that, but the question has to be asked why did those things happen? Why did Lebron struggle so much in the series and the fourth quarters in particular? Why did the Mavs own the last few minutes of the games they won? How were they able to take apart the Heat defense late in games? These are legitimate questions because that is what happened on a consistent basis throughout the series.

After the historic comeback in game 2, the assumption (at least on my part) was that the Mavs it was a blip on the radar. They made a few shots and surprised the Heat, but it wouldn't happen again and game 3 seemed to prove that out. But in game 4, Mavs outscored the Heat by 7 in the 4th and won by 3. In game 5, the Heat were up again by 4 with four mins to go, but lost by 9! In game 6, the Mavs led most of the game, but after the Heat got to within four early in the fourth, the Mavs answered quickly and the Heat never got closer than seven after that.

The thing is in just about every playoff game or series, one can always point to a couple of plays here and there that won or lost the game. Rare is the game, especially late in the playoffs when a team gets so outclassed that they can't play the "what if" game. What if that borderline call went our way? What if the shot had fallen in instead of out (or vice versa)? What if that guy didn't get hurt? In the 2006 Finals, Mavs fan were asking what if the Mavericks had been able to pull out game 3 when they had a big lead and looked poised to go up 3-0? What if the refs hadn't given game 5 to the Heat? Here in 2011, what happened in the fourth quarters goes beyond what if. If it happens once, ok, those things happen. Four times? Whatever happened (and I'm still not quite sure how it happened) was real. The Mavs, shockingly enough, were better than the Heat. The Heat clearly had the talent advantage, but this is a case where the Mavericks' whole was great than the sum of it's parts.

For me, I didn't truly believe until the end. I expected them to collapse or the refs to make sure there was a game 7. At last, the Mavs were stronger than whatever forces were arrayed against them. It was a ton of fun.

How In the World DId That Just Happen????

I just watched that last two quarters of the Mavs game. I pretty much gave up after Wade hit a three to up by 15 with 7 mins to go in the game. I threw the remote on the chair and turned on the Astros game while tried to calm down before bed and finish a few things. I would casually look up and check the score. They'd be within 9, then 4. I wanted to get up and watch, but I was afraid to get up from the Astro game because it's clear that I'm horrible luck for the Mavs. I did get up and watch the end as Dirk hit a three (TAKE DAT WIT CHEW!!!!) and then (after the Heat made a 3 to tie) and Dirk hit a driving layup. Then after a missed shot (did you see Wade try to sell a foul by falling to the ground like he'd been shot?) the Mavs had won to make it 1-1.
I couldn't be more shocked and I have no idea how it happened. Will it continue? No idea. Will the Mavs win the series? Still don't think so. But to quote a wise man, "I've seen alot of stuff in my life, but that...was...awesome."

The Worst Sports Week Of My Life

The NBA finals. I could not possibly be less excited about it. Of all the teams to face, it had to be the Heat. Unbelievable. This sucks.

The problem is I'm experiencing flash backs of the worst sports week of my life- the 2006 NBA finals. I've been trying to think of worse sports weeks. I'm sure there have been days that have been worse: just about every Cowboys experience since 1996, watching Jo Jo Jones run around Hardin Simmons my senior year, and various and a sundry Rangers ridiculousness over the years.

What this feels like is Yankees/ Rangers in the late 90s. We know what's going to happen and there is nothing anyone can do about it. You know it and I know it.

Oh, how I wish I was wrong. I wish Dirk had someone who we could trust next to him. This is Dirk and the 2003 All Star Team. I'd love to see what Caron Butler would do for this team.

Of all the teams to play...

They may win one or two, but I doubt it. My prediction (made after game 1) is Heat 4-1. Prove me wrong, Mavs. Please, prove me wrong.

For Jeanette, Happy Valentine's Day

I will walk with you
Every step of the way
Love you all my life
Love you everyday
No matter where you wander
No matter what you do
Come what may I will walk with you

I will walk with you
And treasure every smile
No matter what the fashion
You'll always be my style
My pretty little princess
An angel dressed in blue
Come what may I will walk with you

I will walk with you
Even when the sun don't shine
The rain it may come down
And Fate may be unkind
If you get a scrape
I'll brush away the tears
Come what may I will walk with you

I will walk with you
Together we will share
Jelly beans and pink ice-cream
A Christmas teddy bear
And one day I am for certain a
Brand new puppy too
Come what may I will walk with you

I will walk with you
And love you for all time
Travel this ol' world
Your little hand in mine
I'll never be far from you
This I promise you
Come what may I will walk with you
Come what may I will walk with you

7 Hour Commute

Jeanette wanted to type this up so we wouldn't forget the details later. More details for anyone who might be interested another day.

Red pickup truck not great in icy conditions.

4:00 Left work in Bellevue.

4:10 Fishtailed on I-40, missed several cars and ended up in the grass right before a ditch; coworker Ryan stopped to wait for tow truck.

5:10 Towed out.

5:30 Got to I-440.

7:00 Got to Harding Place exit ramp to Harding Place (ranted to Jeanette about lack of traffic info on the radio).

9:00 Bathroom break at Mapco on Trousdale, got candy bar and Coke; Tried to go Blackman, but blocked by two stalled cars and scary hills, moved back over to Harding Place.

9:45 Turned down Shadecrest to go back to Blackman, decided to continue up Whispering Hills. Everything fine until a lady in a big SUV was stopped in the middle of the road up a hill on Whispering Hills. Ended up in a precarious spot.

10:30 Stuck on Whispering Hills, drunk guys in truck tried to push me up the hill. Didn't work, so I reversed down the hill and headed to the Ryals' house.

10:45 Parked at Ryals' house, ate scrambled eggs and toast, listened to in-laws' pleas for me to stay the night but wanted to go home to see Jeanette.

11:00 Left to walk the last mile home. Man in big truck picked me up and drove me all the way to my door.

11:30 Home, finally.

What would be different?

Today in Sunday school, we discussed Jesus on the road to Emmaus focusing on Jesus' question to Cleopas and his companion (who I think is his wife), "What are you discussing together as you walk along?" Other translations call it "disputing" so they were evidently pretty fired up in their discussion. It's pretty clear they were talking about what had happened with Jesus- his crucifixion and the implications of his reported resurrection. I would imagine that one or both of them was skeptical that it really happened since it was women who were claiming that he was alive and the people in that time didn't put must stock in the words of a woman. After Jesus shows up, whom they can't recognize, they get what would be the greatest Bible study ever- Jesus connecting himself with the Old Testament, probably focusing on the sacrificial system and the prophecies. Then, just as they recognize him, he vanishes removing all their doubt of his resurrection. They immediately return to Jerusalem and find the disciples and fill them in. I bet it was the quickest trip between Jerusalem and Emmaus they had ever made.

One of the application questions that was asked by the teacher was what would be different in our lives if Jesus simply been another martyr rather than having resurrected from the dead. Members of the class gave what you might call "Sunday school answers" about living in fear or having to continue sacrifices. I can respect Sunday school answers because they are often at least mostly true. But it got me to thinking how much would things really change in our churches if Jesus hadn't truly been raised? I have a suspicion that most of the things that go on in church can go on just fine without a resurrected Jesus. I mean do we really need Jesus for us to be able to realize our best life now? How about 10 steps to a better you? Or even (treading wearily) how to have a better marriage or fix your finances (for a much better and more intense discussion of this go here and then here- or don't because it's a little uncomfortable).

One of things I love about my church is that the gospel is front and center every Sunday- music, scripture, sermons, Bible study, etc. We just completed 15 days of concentrated prayer with a focus on "gospel renewal" based on Psalm 80:3, "Restore us O God; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved." What is gospel renewal? To me, it means that the Jesus, the cross, our sin, his grace must always be at the forefront of what the church is all about. Take those things away and the church is nothing more another self help or social club.

The One Whom God Hears

Today at church, the sermon and the Bible study corresponded in a way that I found interesting. As we continued in Luke, we read Luke 7:1-10 about the centurion who requested Jesus come heal his servant. One of the points was 'What kind of people find the Savior?' and the answer was one who shows humility, submission, and trust. In fact, the passage notes that Jesus "was amazed" at the centurion's faith, which I think is interesting. How much faith does it take to amaze Jesus? He said that as much faith as a mustard seed could move mountains, and apparently the centurion had enough faith to save his servant.

In the Bible study, in which we study the questions that Jesus asked, we focused on the time in the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus prayed and the disciples slept (Matthew 26, Mark 14, and Luke 22). I always find stories of Jesus praying fascinating because it seems to blur the line between his humanity and his divinity. I'm not breaking any news when I say the God-Man aspect of Jesus is hard to get my head around. We believe that he is completely God and completely man ("God in the bod" as Dawson McAllister used to say), but was there a place where one ended and the other began? Also, how does Jesus experiences really relate to me? I mean, he was God so did he struggle as I do- to pray or live a godly life? Hebrews says that he was tempted as any person is and yet was without sin. So, if nothing else, Jesus can play a huge role as a model for us. In these passages, Jesus is the perfect illustration for prayer and an extension what we can learn from the centurion. He showed humility in that he fell on his face before the Father. He showed submission in his statement that he would follow his Father's will. He showed trust in the Father by acknowledging that all things were possible with him.

The main difference between the experiences of the two men (the centurion and Jesus) is that one received the answer he hoped for while the other seemingly did not. However, look at Jesus once he gets up from that prayer. The seeming conflict that he experiences in the garden is suddenly gone. He doesn't back down and is the picture of grace and power, guarding his disciples and never flinching in the face of demonic attach. Is is too crazy to say that Jesus was strengthened and empowered by the time in prayer he had in the Garden? As is always said when discussing Jesus' experiences in prayer, if he needed his time with with Father to approach the cross, how much more do we need to seek his face in our time of need.

The Shootings in Tuscon and Blame

It didn't take long after the shooting had stopped in Tuscon for the blame to start flowing. I made the mistake of reading the comments of the stories about the shooting on CNN and NPR and a couple of blogs. The hate and the vitriol flowed from both sides. For some, it was obvious that Sarah Palin was to blame and we need lots more gun control. For others, the crazy liberals were going to use this to crack down on free speech and take all the guns away. It didn't really change a couple of days later, as today, when I was listening to the radio, the focus was on who was to blame for all this. Even when information about the shooter came out and it appears that he may have paranoid delusions and schizophrenia, most of the blame has been laid at negative political rhetoric, with special mention of Sarah Palin's use cross hairs on a map of Democratic districts to target for the recent election. It is unconscionable, but hardly surprising that one would use this tragedy to score political points.

But that is what our political dialogue has been devolved into- anything to make the other side look bad. That is why we can't have a decent conversation about how to solve the problems of this country. You can't have a discussion with someone if they think you're Hitler or an anti-American radical. Until both sides stop the extreme rhetoric, we may not have more shootings (the US is actually relatively peaceful compared to so many other countries), but we will probably continue to have gridlock and further division.

As we've learned more about the shooter, it seems pretty clear that he was not driven by Sarah Palin or any other right winger. Nor does he seem to be a particular fan of the democrats, either. Contrary to some people's statements, mental illness is not exclusive to any political persuasion. However, I think this is time to look closely at how we do political dialogue in this country. Let me illustrate: if I go to a funeral for a person killed because of reckless driving. It would cause me to think about how I'm driving. Does that thinking mean that I caused to accident to begin with? Of course not. I would think about it because I realize that doing something stupid could have consequences down the line if I'm not careful.

This is an opportunity for everyone to stop and look at themselves and ask how we contribute to the problem. By problem, I'm not necessarily referring to shootings, but the hate filled rhetoric. For example, Sarah Palin should apologize for having cross hairs on individual districts (enough with saying it was surveyors mark. We aren't that stupid). Whoever on Huffington Post said that Giffords was "dead to me" for voting against Nancy Pelosi should apologize. I don't think apologizing would acknowledging blame, but rather signaling a change in how things would be done in the future. Whenever someone uses that kind of language, they should be pointed out and criticized vocally by both sides. Few Republicans have the courage to criticize Sarah Palin even if they disagreed with her and most of the people on Huffington Post probably agreed with the one who said she was dead to him. Unfortunately, I'm not optimistic for any kind of change.

Birthday Thoughts

Today, I turned 37 years old (not 45 as reported by my oldest daughter). As with most people, a birthday becomes a time to consider and think about the past and the future. As Wes King once said, some things I've done better, some things it's hard to say.
But considering the future, I'm struck by the frailty of it all. A couple of weeks ago, a friend with a serious health condition announced that he and his wife were pregnant. I asked how he felt about it in light of his health issues and he said that they didn't know what was going to happen in four years so they knew they wanted another child so they decided to go ahead. His comment reminded me of what Andy Dufresne said in The Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying."
The thing is none of us know what the future holds. Just thinking about what is different from December 27, 2009 to today boggles the mind. I changed jobs within Catholic Charities (from Adoption Support and Preservation to Flood Relief), started and completed my practicum experience), had a baby, and started leading our community group. I could list off a number of other things- relationships formed, Rangers in the World Series, crazy weather (a flood and a white Christmas), a new clutch in my truck, and so on. Imagine what will happen next year.

Isaiah 40:7-8 "The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.”

My Big, Crazy Goal

I've always hated running. Even when I wasn't 2 hundred something (something). Unless running had something to do with a game, like basketball, football, baseball/ softball, but even then it usually short bursts. I went through a time in college when tried to do some running, but it didn't last too long. Another thing I hate is getting up early in the morning. My normal days are sleep as long as I possibly can even to the point of missing the things or having to rush through getting ready.

But I have a desire to do two these two things to reach a big crazy goal. I want to run in the half marathon next year at the Music City Marathon. That's right. I want to run 13 miles. I'll probably walk some, but I really want to run it. Here's how crazy of a goal that is. I've never run a full 5k. I've walked and jogged one and I've walked jogged the 5 Mile Boulevard Bolt two Thanksgivings ago, but I've never just ran a 5k.

Here is the method that I want to accomplish this goal. On the website, Cool Running, they have a thing called Couch to 5K. I'm not quite on the coach, but I'm pretty close. Close enough to start from the beginning and see how it goes. After I get to a full 5k, I'll see what the next step is. Right now I'm getting up at 5:45am and running outside, hopefully before Erica awakes, 3 times a week. What I need to work on right now it staying up with walking and other exercise on those other days. Because another part of this goal is losing weight. As I said earlier, I weigh two hundred something (something) and need to loose some weight. I've noticed as I've gotten started the last couple of weeks that my knees are sore and my ankles are sore. Pounding two hundred something (something) isn't good for it. Plus, I want to avoid the health problems that go along with being a big ole' boy.

But so far so good. I missed one day last week because of lack of sleep and then on the makeup day there was a big thunderstorm. But I got back into it today. I'll try to keep my reader(s) up to date on my progress.

I am the Brett Farve of Softball

The past three years since we moved to Nashville, I have played softball with FHBC. I've really enjoyed it, though my days of playing well, if they ever really existed at all, are long gone. At the end of last year's season, I contemplated retirement in a post appropriately entitled "Retirement."

Even as we entered this year and spring rolled around, I knew softball was coming, but I was thinking that I wouldn't play this year. I'm not going to that church now and my knee has been hurting for several months. Nothing serious, but whenever I put pressure on the right knee, it really hurts. Sore knees can really hurt a catcher, which is still the only position I can play with any kind of mastery. If I can't squat, what is the use?

The wife of one of the guys who played with me works at CC and asked me if I was going to play. I told her that I probably wouldn't. Another friend asked me, but when I asked the rec guy if I could play, he said that he didn't even think there would room for me. So my decision was made, right? Well, not exactly. The rec guy e-mailed me a couple of weeks later telling me there was an opening. All I needed to do was let him know. So.... decision time was at hand. Do I play or retire?

I PLAY!!!!!! This past Tuesday I made my triumphant return to the Williamson Co softball fields. And by triumphant I mean 3-5 with 3 singles in two games. I think I scored a couple of runs, but I can't remember because I usually come out for a pinch runner after getting on base. Our team wasn't very triumphant as we lost both games and gave up somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 runs in the second game. It wasn't pretty. I contributed with a fielder's interference that allowed one of those runs to score. No, I didn't squat, but that's ok. My body hurt afterward and I shudder to think how it would have felt if I had gotten down in the squat for two games. But I played all of both games and had a really good time.

It's possible that it may be my last game since family and work issues may get in the way. I'll be like those athletes and coaches that retire to spend time with their families. Maybe I'll have a press conference.

A Review of Slumdog Millionaire

Jeanette and I watched Slumdog Millionaire. It was her idea to see it and that is a big deal as you probably know. She doesn't like movies because she tends to get bored. I remember going with our friends in New York to see a movie and in the middle of it Jeanette breaks out her palm pilot and starts playing solitaire. But after our time in New York, Jeanette became interested in Indian culture and people so she wanted to go see Slumdog Millionaire. I wanted to see it too, but it wasn't that big of a deal. However, I would strongly recommend anyone going to see it, but it's best to see it in the movie theater. But I'll get to that in a minute.

I love a good story, and this story is really good despite some plot twists that I could see coming. It is a true feel good story about love and maintaining humanity in the face of complex and pervasive inhumanity- extreme poverty, crime, and survival of the fittest. It's the story of two orphaned brothers and a little girl who grow up in circumstances that I cannot rationally explain or really even understand so I'll just say "difficult" and leave it at that. In fact, what was so beautiful about the movie was how it showed that poverty in a way that, while it didn't sugar coat it, brought out the beauty and humanity of the people living in the Mumbai slums, with bright colors that are stunning on the big screen. "Love conquers all" can be a overused cliche in the movies, but Slumdog Millionaire says this apologetically, all the way to Bollywood dance during the credits.

This isn't a Christian movie by any means. The main characters are Muslims and Hindus, in fact, the interplay between these two religions is an important aspect of the movie. However, this movie is all about love and redemption. I think Jamal is the Christ figure here as he literally kisses the scars of his love for whom he has pursued and searched for most of his life. The story of Jesus and the church can surely be told here.

Plan B (or C or D, etc)

I just discovered an NPR show that I think I'm going to really like. It's called This American Life. They take a theme and contributors tell stories that relate somehow or another to the topic. The host, Ira Glass usually talks really fast then has long pauses in between sentences. It's a little disconcerting at times. I subscribed to the podcast and I'm happy it's just a once a week podcast because I'd fall behind really fast if it wasn't.

The topic this week was called Plan B, about what ends up happening when our first plan doesn't work out the way it's supposed to. There were a couple of interesting stories, especially the one about the wannabe actor who ends up a professional partier and the guy who discovers to his dismay what he's best at is being a telemarketer.

Inevitably, I guess, this got me thinking about my own life. I can't say I'm on plan B, but rather at least plan C, probably further along than that. Throughout high school, college, the interim time between HSU and Kstan, Kstan, the interim time between Kstan and seminary, New York, and even the first part of my time in Tennessee the ministry was what I wanted to do and some where along the way, it was all about being overseas. However since I got from Kstan, especially, I kept getting sidetracked by like. I've enjoyed most (I stress most) of what I've been involved in, All Church Home, teaching, New York, C C, but am I satisfied with where I am? And if I'm not, what exactly do I need to do?

One of my greatest faults is constantly regretting the past. Did I chose the right major? Was I right to transfer to Lewisville HS my sophomore year? Why didn't keep up my Spanish? Was HSU the right call for me? Why didn't I extend my time in Kstan after my two years were up? I could go on and on. It's stupid, I know, but I often wonder what might have been. How does this match up with God's will? I can't believe, oh, God really wanted me do this specific thing and since I didn't do it exactly right, then I'm so far off track that I would need a souped up DeLorean to get it right. But at the same time, like the telemarketer in This American Life, I wonder about plan B. Is this really what God wants with us? To settle for something less than what we dreamed of doing?

I was wracking my brain trying to think of the classic plan B guy from the Bible. There's no question, it's Moses. I picture him sitting on a hill side in Sinai tending his father-in-law's sheep as a 40 year old, thinking "what in the heck happened?" Then a freaking burning bush gave him a new mission, one that had been in his head way back in Egypt, saving God's people. By this point, he didn't think he had anything close to what it took to lead those people. On the contrary, he had two things that would be invaluable. One, he knew the land. As a shepherd he knew everything about the whole area. Secondly, he knew how to rely on God. Moses probably thought he was finished, passed by by life. But God knew that he was finally ready to do what had been put before him.

Fear and the Way Forward

Since Jeanette stopped working at the church when Erica was born, we have been searching for a new church to attend. I guess, theoretically, we could go to FHBC, but I don't think it's really much of an option at this point for a number of reasons that this is neither the time nor the place to discuss. We have been visiting a local church called Grace.

The preacher is in the middle of a series on Exodus (I assume it's about Exodus because that's where we've been the last two Sundays that we attended.) This past Sunday, he preached from the passage about the parting of the Red Sea, and I did pretty much what I've done the other times I've visited which is zone out because I'm so tired. He talked being the people of Israel being taken from fear to faith as they are standing there with an army ready to take them back to slavery on one hand and a sea ready to drown them if they stepped in on the other. The preacher said lots of things that usually get said when talking about fear and faith: how God orchestrates events to lead us to faith and that events show off what's really going on in our hearts.

It was about here that I realized that this sermon had something to say to me right where I live. I'm a thinker and as a thinker, I think and think and think and sometimes drive myself crazy with fear and worry. I think the current financial situation has made a nation of fearful people, fearful for our jobs, our future, our children's future, even the future of our society. Unfortunately, fear usually leads to poor decisions instead of good ones, whether rashly made decisions or one's clouded by our own poor judgement. Faith is the place that one can say, "No matter what direction the economy, both national and personal, may go, no matter the future, God is still in control and in Him I will place my trust."

Psalm 32:7- You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance."

It's funny. I think this was easier for me when I was single. Now, being married with a kid, I'm not just trusting God for me, but for Jeanette and Erica, too.
Another funny thing, I'm reading a book about the doctrine of predestination during my hiatus from school. I'm not sure what means for these thoughts, but I'll be interested to see if the author addresses this at all.

Our little girl...

Well, I'm sure you've been waiting with baited breath for my first true post about fatherhood. So here goes. Let me say that it's a whole lot of work. But honestly, it hasn't been too bad. We stayed at the hospital until last Tuesday, so tomorrow will mark the first full week at home with Erica. The first night was rough, but since then after we put her down and she finally calms down she sleeps for up to four hours. I can't complain about that too much now can I?

It does feel good when people talk about how pretty she is. I mean, heck, after they say that they end up saying things like she looks like me. So either people are flattering us or I look pretty good!

I gotta say that Erica has quite a pair of lungs on her. When she gets upset she can really let people know about it. One funny thing is when she gets the hiccups. It's even funnier when she's crying and has the hiccups at the same time. I can't help but laugh as she's crying loudly and hiccuping.

This is not an authorization for a nickname by any means, but she is our little frog. First of all, her legs kick out alot like frog legs. But also, I don't know how many times we started to change her diaper and she starts to pee all over herself, the new diaper, the changing pad, and everything else.. She's like those toads and frogs we used to catch around our house growing up. We used to catch them all the time and if you held them too long, a stream of pee would come down you arm. That's all kinds of gross. I don't know what happened to all those toads. Maybe we hunted them to extinction around our house, or maybe I quit looking for them like I used to.

The cool thing about having a kid is seeing Jeanette in action. She is so gentle and kind with our daughter. She is really in her element. I've always known that Jeanette would be an excellent mother.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm actually a dad. Right now, it's around midnight and I waiting for Erica to wake up so I can take her to Jeanette who is sleeping and feed her. As I'm sitting here with the monitor on, I heard the sound of music from her room. Somehow she has hit the music player that's attached to her crib. I have to go and change her diaper and take her into Jeanette. Hopefully, she'll go to sleep after this. We'll see.